I Need My Drugs

Ok, it’s been a long time but since I’m coming around PC again I guess it’s time I dust off ye ol’ blog.

Yesterday I needed to fill my prescription for Zoloft and ya know, I called it in etc., but my assumption that their Saturday hours are the same as their Monday through Friday hours was totally wrong.  I showed up a half hour after they closed and my heart sank.  I knew what this would mean.  My last dose had been noon on Friday and it was Saturday evening.  I wasn’t experiencing withdrawal yet but to quote Trainspotting, “I don’t feel the sickness yet, but it’s in the post.”

I woke up today feeling like shit.  At first it was just the nausea but then as I moved through the first hour of my day I got the brain zaps and the remote control body thing too.  For those not in the know, brain zaps feel like quick jolts of electricity through your brain and the remote control body thing, well, it feels like you’re slightly behind and above yourself and driving your body by remote control.  As an added bonus these withdrawal symptoms also triggered high levels of anxiety and worry and I felt like I was going to cry (which I never ever do and not just because I’m a guy.  I just don’t think my tear ducts are properly hooked up).

I went straight to the pharmacy, scored my new round of pills (yes I know it’s silly to apply drug lingo to Zoloft but I’m amusing myself here so please back off), and went home to take them with a bowl of cereal (gotta eat or they give me an upset stomach).  I spent the rest of the afternoon a useless, anxious, nauseous slug.  See anxiety meds don’t just kick in like aspirin, it takes a while and for me, I was basically screwed until after a late afternoon nap.

I especially hate this kind of thing because it’s unfair to my wife.  We have kids, it’s the weekend, and here I fucked it all up with my crazy pills (or lack of crazy pills, in this case).  To her credit she was very patient, she didn’t say anything about my nap, and was just kinda low key about it all.  She’s normally kinda abrasive about most things so I took the silence as love and understanding.

For those of us who have been on meds for years and years, you can forget that you are on them.  They are invisible drugs, like blood pressure medicine, but man you quickly recognize their benefit once you stop taking them.  I don’t think I’ll do that again anytime soon.

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